Our Lord, our Heavenly Father is always with us no matter the conditions. Yet the myopic nature of Man leads him to see God only in times of need and troubles. I write once again, fueled by this contempt of my nature as a Man and an aspiration to love and to live on like my Lord, Jesus Christ. In recent times I have been plagued by this chronic pain on my neck. No amount of massage could relieve it; no amount of sleep could lessen it. One day, I asked myself: "What could be the cause? Why am I, a child of God suffering from this devil-spawned infirmity?" Today as I write this I see stress perhaps, as its roots.

I guess most of my time I have been living out a stress-free life. Being contented with what I have, thanking my Lord for what I had received and lived through the days. I had no worries. Nonetheless, was it all human effort that kept my habit going? Was I truly stress free because I rest in Him? Or was it simply because I saw that it ought to be and so it seems? The latter certainly did not explain my condition.

There are no ready answers. I do not want to mull over these because I know that I'm blessed. There are so many things undone: Council reforms, elections, work, academics, my future in the coming years, great plans, my finances, my time with my beloved. So many things to work, so many things to keep going. Then I turned to my Lord once more, when I finally ran out of options. The pain is still there, but my Lord's company super abounds the pain.

Finally, the prodigal son reopened His words and delve into it. I created so many excuses in the past, made myself swarmed with work and laziness to not turn to Him and the words He had breathed into life. Right there came my answer, my Lord Jesus spoke:

Luke 9:25; 25 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?

Indeed, I have looked upon myself for the longest time. For His blessings throughout the semester, I was thankful yer worried. What if I do not do as well as I have expected at the end? Higher expectations may lead to higher disappointment. Inadvertently I turned His blessings into my curse, blasphemed against His finished work by endorsing my own. At the end, I might have won the world, but I have died in vain, and my Lord has died in vain, all because two thousand years ago my Lord Jesus Christ had already died to secure all of these for me. And more! Living in Christ means higher expectations beget even greater expectations knowing that my Heavenly Father supplies much more that I could ever ask for. I seek His wisdom to be reminded of this every day of my life.

Like I always say, God does nothing in coincidence. Everything happens for a reason. The sermon on Sunday was about unfolding of grace as usual, but what caught me in particular was the verse Luke 22:43-44.

Luke 22:43-44; 43 Then an angel appeared to Him from heaven, strengthening Him. 

44 And being in agony, He prayed more earnestly. Then His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground.