I haven't blog in here for months and indeed everytime i see this i really do wish i was able to blog something about my life. Something that i could remember, or bring away in the distant future. Somehow or another, i dislike my blog to be a collection of sad and angsty posts, the reason being that it decreases the appeal of revisiting it when im leading a happy life. On the other hand, if i'm not, it exacerbates the pain. However, i just can't seem to stop writing sad posts or to record days that i'm sad.

I remember i used to have another blog not too long ago, steadfast and true, but the very end it reminded me of anguish and more. I remember the reason why the blog existed and not that because i wanted to drop my previous existence and live life the fullest as a child of God, the beloved of the Lord and my Heavenly Father. I really thought, and felt deeply that there was no need to keep that anymore. Everything that i have been through would have been etched in my heart. It's funny though, that i ever have this day that i want to look back to see if i have written anything to show what i have done wrong in the past. Or what i am still continuing to do wrong.

I'm not having a miserable life exactly, knowing that my God has no expectations and love me fully for who i am; knowing that He will stand by me in everything i do. Well, praise be to God, for who He is in my life. It is definitely so when Man fell, they were not able to be in the same image as He is, for we nitpick with every small thing; tries to be concerned thinking what we know is right only because the first Man ate the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.We equate our lives with worldly values, and seek to exact them on our loved ones, while we fail to keep some ourselves. We attempt, everyday to match our expectations to God, or for the unbelief, to perfection. We rebuke others thinking that we have the moral right to do so. And when things do not go our way, we get upset. Pissed at everything that we see in this world probably only not at our Lord, because we do not physically see Him?

And so once again, who are we to judge?

Honestly, as i have told my Lord last night, the many things in my life are wearing me down. Maybe i just haven't got to wear to glory of my Lord day in day out. I do not question my faith, for i know it builds up each day, bit by bit as i get to know him better. I am trying to look at the one thing that matters, and put my faith in Him. I believe, 2012 will be a good year, and i will not be parched even before the heat hits me.

Yes, i reckoned that there is no point getting too concerned over worldly values and norms. Peace by with me, i ask of my Lord, and by the promises of John 14:27 and Matthew 7:7 it will be given to me. I know. Never will this day comes where the devil plants seeds of disharmony in my heart and sees it to fruition. Never will the devil used my love ones against me, for my Lord Jesus will be there to break him and to see everything to success in my life. And for me, i will look further, not to you but to my Lord, and know that true understanding, peace, and love has been achieved since the day He has willed it to be, when He became my saviour.

With that, i pray to you Lord, in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.